With all of my past exchanges, I've had to cross my fingers and hope that the weirdo on the other end would actually reply to my latest crazy email. However, I gave up on this conversation with John a couple of times. But he wasn't having it! The guy is a real glutton for punishment.

Here's how it began:

John's SEO shtick was the same old shit that we get over and over at my podcast blog, the AudioShocker. I wrote my response imagining there was no chance in hell "John Locke" would ever reply back. And that's just what I wanted.

But some dreams don't come true.

Not only was John's SEO sales pitch tired crap, but it was also the SAME EXACT PITCH I'd already received back in October. In fact, you can read that preposterous exchange here.

Alright John... game on, mutherfucker!

Now this is where John started to get stalker-ish. Not only did he desperately email me again within 24 hours, but he also called up the AudioShocker comment line and left a voicemail!

John Locke is getting desperate and it's weird. [ 0:24 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

*sigh* This guy just doesn't get it. Time to kick things up a notch.

Shit gets even weirder after this because a few hours later John called the comment line again and hung up! But not before he left a confusing two second voicemail. CREEPY! He's seriously turning into a stalker ex-boyfriend.

At this point, I became truly curious. Just how far was John willing to go?

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Apparently that last email finally broke John. I don't know why that email did it, but he never replied back. I mean, I was messing with the guy pretty bad the entire time. Why was 1-888-332-BOOBS the final straw?

Along with receiving a lot of emails meant for other guys named Nick Marino, I also get a lot of people scamming me telling me how to fix website.

Now I'm no slouch in the internet department of doing stuff and thingies (err, whatever). I used to work professionally as a search engine optimizer and I've spent waaaaay too much time messing around with social media.

So when I get this bullshit "I can fix your website" spam sent to my AudioShocker.com email account, I normally mumble and grumble and get all peeved. But this time, instead of getting annoyed I decided to get revenge.

Here's how it went down:

Ahhhhhhh Burt Reynolds naked on a bearskin rug. Always classic.

Anyway, I don't expect to hear back from Jay ever again. Obviously he's a man who doesn't appreciate Burt Reynolds naked on a bearskin rug.

I get a lot of emails meant for other guys named Nick Marino. In fact, I get so many that I've decided to stop stressing about them and have some fun with it.

I received one last Wednesday from an executive in Miami. He mistook me for a business colleague. I immediately hunted down his bio online to figure out if he's the real deal. And he is.

Plus, I wanted some ammo to use against Phil in case our discussion got weird. Which, of course, it did.

Here's our email exchange:

I desperately want to send Phil just one more email because I have another picture of this cigar-smoking woman that would be the perfect stinger to our exchange!

But I've decided to postpone that email until I receive another reply from Phil. Which, sadly, looks like it's never gonna happen.